i thought that i was doing well but i just want to cry now..

sorry ive been gone so long. so much has happened. just had so many ups and downs. going through a bit of a shitty time, like an anti-climax.
and i just havent had time for music which is making everything way harder. but now the music i listen to is so random, like right now im listening to god and satan by biffy clyro. its depressingly beautiful.
ive got into some really wierd music this summer, stuff that i would never normally dream of listening to. im currently obsessed with hold yuh by gyptian ft. nicki minaj. nicki minaj is just so cool! shes like the best rapper around at the moment, i just love her.
ive been busy doing homework and overthinking everything. at least things are getting a bit more interesting but i feel like everythings happening too slowly, i want to lose control and fuck everything up.
anyway life is just hard. i dont really have time to blog anymore so i think basically i'll try and blog every now and then but we'll just see how it goes.
hope your all well x

everybodys changing and i dont feel the same

so ive been gone from the blogging world for a bit. theres just been so much happening. i feel like ive changed so much and so have my friends. we're just different people than we were at the beginning of this holiday. its like we've suddenly grown up and are doing the stuff we used to sit around chatting about.

anyway enough about my wierd life! music! this (above) is the music video for love the way you lie and im just in love with the song and really in love with megan fox! i just think shes so gorgeous and the exact look i try and look like but it never quite works out! eminem is my life and its just amazing having his music on the radio all the time.

ive made a few great playlists that i wanna share with you. this one is a pop rock sort of thing:

too fake by hockey, song away by hockey, kiss and tell by you me at six, lost in stereo by all time low, cosmic love by florence and the machine, high five swan dive nose dive by pulled apart by horses, shock horror by the view, same jeans by the view, the captain by biffy clyro, mountains by biffy clyro, your betrayal by bullet for my valentine.

speak soon x

it seems strange how we used to wait for letters to arrive but whats stranger still is how something so small can keep you alive

these are my two favourite youtube videos that people have made. that clana video i used to watch obsessivly and the greys anatomy video made me cry the first time i saw it! greys anatomy is just so emotional! everyones got a broken heart, and theres always someone dying! i cant buy that box set coz i'll just end up as an emotional wreck!
anyway im in france still but i'll be back on tuesday... so music:

theres so much great music around. this summer has been great for music. currently im listening to a great playlist made up of band of horses-factory, broken bells-the ghost inside and we used to wait by arcade fire (title lyric from arcade fire song).

other amazing music ive been listening to is drakes newish song find your love. just a lovely summery song. and also been singing my friend smithsters favourite song, billionaire by travie mccoy. its got great lyrics and is just so much fun to sing along to! also loving everything everythings new single my keys your boyfriend. its very indie but very good! got a really addictive chorus but its totally impossible to sing along to! youll see if you listen to it!

okay im gonna get back to working on my tan! thanks for your lovely comments on my last post x

you ever love someone so much you can barely breathe when youre with them? you meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em

there are so many amazing collaborations at the moment. the top 5 in the chart update on wednesday was all collaborations!

this is how it looked:

1. airplanes by b.o.b ft. hayley williams. i am still totally addicted to this song. its just amazing, good emo pop.
2. love the way you lie by eminem ft. rihanna (title lyrics from this). this song is so addictive! when i first heard they did a collaboration i thought eminem would have done a calmer song, a bit less controversial but no this song is literally about abuse! its a bit wierd after the whole chris brown thing but anyway its such a beautiful song.
3. bang bang bang by mark ronson and the business. this song just gets in your head. im singing it now! its good quirky, fun pop! the perfect summer tune.
4. we no speak americano by yolanda be cool and DCUP. who would call themselves DCUP but anyway i love this song. its a really grower but such a great dance tune. just loving it and its nice to hear a bit of spanish!
5. just be good to green by professor green and lily allen. this song is probably one of my favourite collaborations this year. just love the contrast of their voices. its beautiful yet fun and an exciting song.

so that was the top 5 on wednesday. hopefully it will stay like that coz its been a long time since the top 5 looked this good. last summer there wasnt such great music around but it seems this summer is gonna be a summer of amazing music!

okay i think im gonna be taking a break from blogging. im going to france on thursday for 12 days. i think i just need a break from blogging to sort of remind me why i started blogging. btw im gonna be away for my blog's first birthday but just wanna say thank you to everyone who reads/follows my blog and thank you to all those of you who write blogs that really inspire me. love you all xxxx

UPDATE: the charts actually ended up as:

1. airplanes by b.o.b
2. we no speak americano by yolanda be cool and DCUP
3. love the way you lie by eminem
4. california girls by katy perry
5. just be good to green by professor green

what would you rather me be like? i aint ever gonna change, are you ever gonna realise?

these are pictures from t in the park (pictures in order: eminem, ellie goulding, biffy clyro, florence and the machine, muse, paolo nutini, vampire weekend)

i didnt really hear much of the coverage coz i actually went to wales this weekend! i went with one of my best friends and a friends babysitting job who we've all become really friendly with. shes 22 but has three kids and just got a divorce and when she was going through the divorce she became really good friends with one of my friends. anyway it was sort of a last minute thing but we went to this caravan on this farm in north wales in the middle of nowhere and just had a lovely time.. really relaxing and peaceful.

but im back for about a week and a bit coz im off to france really soon! im so excited about france!

so back to t in the park: the only performance ive watched is eminems performance which was epic. i swear i was nearly in tears. im so obsessed with eminem its not even funny!

anyway im off to afflecks palace with a few friends today and im just generally spending my holidays on the internet or watching films (i watched the ugly truth last night which was amazing! i now have a new crush on gerald butler and hes scottish! you know how much i love scottish accents!) x

(title lyrics from just be good to green by professor green ft lily allen)

and his alarm went off to wake him but he didnt make it to the rap Olympics left to his plane and he missed it

dont you just love hayley williams?! i just love the girl. paramore's new single careful is great. i could listen to paramore all day. anyway these pictures are all about airplane coz im just obsessed with that song as well as the jay z remix of xxxo by MIA.

so a bit of new music:

1. monarchy-love get out of my way. ive loved monarchy for a long time now and this song is just great. quite indie and fun.
2. pulled apart by horses. i love this band coz they just scream but in a weird way its very therapeutic! this summer im really into dance music but i think this winter i might start getting into rock. its a genre that ive only really scrapped the surface of.
3. middle east- the darkest side. cant remember how this song goes. i just remember that its very indie and just gorgeous. im so crap at research!
4. broken bells-the ghost inside. cant really descibe it. just amazing! very indie and just this great laidback sound.

and that is a very random mix of stuff but i think monarchy is a one to watch although my predictions are normally wrong! however i did say holland were gonna win uraguay and they did! cant wait to the world cup final! x (title lyrics by eminem from airplane. how great is the concept of rap olympics?! do they actually exist? i hope they do!)

bet shes delighted when she sees him, pulling in and giving her the eye, because she must be fucking freezing scantily clad beneath the clear blue sky

so im back from prague! had such a great time! its really the last time i was with my whole class like forever now coz next year im gonna be in a new school, a whole new class... anyway just had so much fun running around the hotel at 3am and touring around getting a great tan! went to some really beautiful places and just saw so many other tour groups. lots of fit guys!

anyway back to music. i havent really been listening to music for the past few days coz i dont have a ipod (i hate having earphones in my ears and not being able to hear whats going on around me) and there was no radio in the hotel but as soon as i came back i straight away turned on my radio! i came back at like 1am and i never normally listen to radio at that sort of time but there was some great stuff on. just some genius remixes of great songs. so this morning on the radio, the presenter was like 'and next up some eminem an the killers.' i was so excited coz eminem and the killers and probably my two favourite artists so heard not afraid by eminem and when you were young by the killers. later on they played when the sun goes down by arctic monkeys (title lyrics from there). i used to be obsessed with that song and id forgotten how good it is.

so have a great weekend. im gonna be doing lots of shopping this weekend for france! primark here i come! x

and right before im about to drown she resuscitates me, she fucking hates me and i love it

(view of stage, florence-love that dress!, the xx, jamie t, la roux, muse)

just had a weekend of singing along to eminem.. his new album recovery has come out and i havent had the time to go and buy it but im listening to it on we7. its epic!

love the way you lie, his song with rihanna is just amazing. that is gonna be a big song (title lyrics from that song). also love airplane, the b.o.b song with hayley williams. love the eminem remix. that is a great link to what im up to tomorrow! im off to prague on a school trip! im gonna be gone til friday.. its very exciting! and then im going to france in a few weeks with a few friends!

anyway back to music. glastonbury has been going on this weekend so i picked out some of my favourite pictures to share with you. i watched the muse set online which was amazing. ive never watched a whole set of theirs but now i see why people call them one of the best live bands. also watched the xx perform their remix of florence's you got the love with florence! ive never seen the xx perform but theyre just amazing.

so have a lovely week. check out glastonbury stuff here. see you soon x

its time to come clean and make sense of everything.. coz when im standing here in the dark i see your face in every star

sorry i havent been around. its just been crazy with exams but ive finished today! i should feel relieved but i just feel tired! im not really into films and tv programs but i have my programs that i have to watch. anyway one tree hill season 7 has started and i wanna watch it but i havent watched season 6 so i ordered it last week and it just came today so its perfect timing. cant wait to get really obsessed with it! cant believe glee is over. im still in mourning.
anyway onto more interesting topics, music! im just loving so much stuff at the moment so heres a short list of what to check out btw theyre all dance stuff. im so into dance music but the more underground stuff. so here goes:

• skepta-rescue me. i love the sound of this. reminds me a bit of chase and status but a bit more dubstep and deep
• magnetic man-i need air. anyway its a great song by magnetic man which is a new supergroup made up of skream, benga and artwork. all massive DJs in their own right, this song doesnt disappoint.
• fake blood-i think i like it. wow this is just an amazing song. i loved fake blood's remix of animal by miike snow so i was really intrigued to hear this and its just a great song.

maybe its the summer thats making me fall in love with dance music. or maybe its finishing school! you know im going to france in like (nearly) exactly a month. me and three friends are going on the 22 july! its very exciting! i need some new clothes though. i might go shopping tomorrow if i dont get too addicted to one tree hill. okay im going back to my one tree hill now... x (photos from random places and title lyrics from ellie goulding)

we are an example of why not to fall in love, it takes a turn and then it hurts more than you could dream of

these are some pictures i was thinking of having as blog title pictures but they didnt look quite right. i love the MGMT picture i have now. its so pretty. anyway the first picture is of coco sumner, the second is of florence and the third is of ellie goulding. im still so obsessed with guns and horses by ellie goulding except now i actually know all the words so i can properly sing along! also learnt a lot of the words to not afraid by eminem. just heard that song about half an hour ago on the radio. what an epic song. i just love eminem!

got a history exam tomorrow and im finishing my exams next monday so just a week to go! its so exciting!

the lovely title lyrics are from you me at six and their newish single liquid confidence. its not their best song but i love that lyric. that song has actually been around for ages!

anyway better get back to my studying, hope your all well x

and i just stare at him with her: i want to break their perfection

i feel like ive posted these pics before but i dont remember! well anyway i love them so i dont care! theyre from ashlea chavez.

im currently in love with coco sumner. she records under the name i blame coco and she just has this gorgeous voice. youll probably like her if you like husky voices. like a mix between adele and pink! her latest single self machine is just gorgeous. it is a grower but still amazing on the first listen and it just sticks in your head. amazing..

also i havent talked about MGMTs new stuff. i loved their old stuff a lot and when i heard their new stuff i was a bit dissapointed but it turned out that their song its working is a real grower. their new stuff is such a radical change so it took a bit of getting used to but i just love it now.

anyway on to non music related stuff.. we had a really fun party for a friend. with the exams we've not really had the chance to just hang out but we did yesterday and it was just great to be immature and stupid! now i have rude pictures drawn on my arms so i cant roll up sleeves for a few days! its gonna be wierd next year coz we're all doing different things. not seeing all my friends on a daily basis will be very strange.

anyway sory this is such a long post. thanks for all the lovely comments on the last post.

see you x (title lyrics by me)

love is a fucked up way to live but its the only way i know. love feels like home, its where i belong

i think i got these from stockholm street style but i cant remember. anyway i just love them especially the first one. love the effect used.

okay a few random things to talk about. is it wierd to write lyrics that you dont agree with like this title lyric. i like it as a title lyric but im not sure if its true..

i try not to write lyrics coz i cant write happy things so i end up writing and getting really depressed! im having a bit of deja vu at the moment. writing again like i used to. it was really watching this interview with eminem that got me writing again. he was talking about where he gets inspiration from and something in me clicked (not literally) and i just wanted to write.

also having deja vu about the music im listening to. i was just listening to some stuff from the killers fourth album with was really my summer album last year and changing my blog title picture. i havent done that since last summer!

so hope your all doing okay and speak soon x

youve begun to feel like home, whats mine is your to leave or take, whats mine is yours to make your own

now its the summer again, everyone seems to be in a relationship! me and a friend went the park on thursday and every fit guy had his arm around a girl! i was on tasty threads blog and she had a picture of alex and alexa and it made me realise that you never see pictures of them together. they havent broken up have they? i find alexa very annoying but i love her hair and as you know im a massive arctic monkeys fan!

i dunno if i ever talked about it on my blog but i have this obsession with tall guys. just the taller the better! last night i was trying to remember when it started and i realised it was from this music video someone made on youtube. its clips from smallville with the song look after you by the fray (title lyrics are from this song). i just loved how massive clark was compared to lana. they just looked so adorable together and so my tall guy obsession began!

im going a bit crazy coz i never realised how much history i have to learn so i might not be blogging too much. i know this week is gonna be crazy full of exams for a lot of people so good luck! soon it will be all be over! x

i bet that you look good on the dancefloor, i dont know if your looking for romance or i dont know what youre looking for

this photography by samuel bradley seems fitting coz yesterday i was at the beach! no i didnt just hop on a plane to spain (that rhymes!). i ended up going to blackpool with a load of 14 year olds (very long story how that came about) and because of some breathing problems, i didnt want to go on the big rides so i just went on the carousel and then went with two other people who hate big rides to the beach and we just walked along the beach for a good hour or two. it was so relaxing but also really tiring.
so a bit about music.. guess whos performing live on radio 1 on friday??!! EMINEM!!! i cant wait! hes so good live and i cant get enough of his single not afraid. cant wait to see what the next single is and just cant wait for the album!
hope your all well and hopefully post again soon (title lyrics from arctic monkeys) x

if your not beautiful then what the fuck does beautiful mean?

this photography is by hana haley. i love the colours and the lighting.. its just stunning photography. so great news! ive finished all my sciences so i have a lot more time now to blog and stuff although ive still got history to worry about.

there seems to be a lot of new music around at the moment and some of my favourites are:

• bang bang bang by mark ronson. this song is so addictive. its got a great catchy tune and is just very pretty and summery although its still sort of a dance record. does that makes sense?! (no)
• xxxo by MIA. this song is also incredibly addictive. the chorus is basically her saying xxxo over and over.. it shouldnt work but somehow it does!
• the best of times by sage francis. this song is all about the lyrics. just listen to this with your ear next to the speaker. listen to the lyrics, theyre genius! (its all about growing up and basically how being a teenager is shit)
• kele from bloc party is doing some solo stuff and his first single is tenderoni. its a great dance song and is like bloc partys stuff but a bit more tuneful

so check out some of the amazing new music. love to know what new music your into at the moment.. have a great weekend x (title lyric written by me)